Wednesday, November 12, 2008

momma said there'd be days like this...

Okay, I know. I've lived a sheltered life. I've never plunged a toilet before. Before today that is. Let's have a recap of my day....(and remember that it's only 3:30). Let's also preface this recap with the knowledge that my husband is out of town for 4 days and we are now on day 3.

-got up at 6:30 after another sleepless night -- very tired, more than usual.
-had to drag son out of bed after he stayed up an hour past his bed time reading.
-went through the usual Mommy get me this, Mommy get me that servant routine
-realized that when my son took one of his gargantous (don't know if that's a word, don't care) numero dos trips to the bathroom yesterday that 'he blew up the john' (a phrase I got from my b-i-l Tim, makes me laugh and remember a funny story so I use it)
-7:30 took son to school
-back home, 1st attempt to plunge. unsuccessful.
-8:15 got tips on how to properly plunge a toilet from husband over the phone who doesn't have time to talk and is eating breakfast at fancy hotel with jolly laughing co-workers
-8:30 went to pick up our van with a nieghbor since it has been at the shop all week getting a brand new $500 starter. well it started right up, so that was a positive, but a hassle none the less, not to mention the $$.
-back home, 2 more attempts to plunge the toilet. unsuccessful. you have to make sure you get a good seal, he said. tried, got a good seal, unsuccessful.
-various chores at home with 3 year old girl literally climbing on my back and sticking toys in my face, "see this mommy?" yes, yes, yes, please don't put it so close to my (lasik improved) eyes.
-ballet class at 11:30. getting there included 15 minutes worth of trying to dress an uncooperative wet noodle, wet noodle refusing to wear a jacket over her leotard, wet noodle running away when I tried to put her in her car seat, wet noodle pushing the opposite direction on the van door (pushing it open as I am trying to close it), packing wet noodle extra clothes to change into after ballet so we can go straight to Samuel's school for chapel (this is all an attempt to make him feel special since this week- the week that his father is out of town- he is student of the week), and then wet noodle not cooperating when I'm trying to get her ballet shoes on, and finally whining for me to go into class with her. closed bathroom door before I left as I am starting to notice a smell in the house.
-during ballet, and it's only 30 min long. Discuss plunging with another ballet mom who has experience. She says a tulip shaped plunger might help. Oh, I think we have one, I say. Said 3 year old has to go to the bathroom. Every once in a while her pee goes projectile into the air, and this happened to be one of those times. Pee everywhere including all over her underwear and tights. For once I am prepared with a change of underwear and a plastic grocery bag. Said 3 y.o. returns for the last 5 min of class.
-leaving ballet, after gathering 3 y.o. from running thru parking lot by bribing her with Smarties, quick run thru the drive thru at taco bell ( a place my digestive system just really can't take anymore, but it was the only ff restaurant anywhere close and our only chance to get some lunch before going to Samuel's school.
-trying to eat taco in car and spill sour cream on my pants. 3 y.o. in back is being very indesicive of whether or not she wants her cheese sauce for her nachos. "I want it Mommy" (I hand it to her), "no I don't want it anymore" (take it back), etc......
-get to school and my key chain thing to swipe and sign in (school's security system) doesn't work and I have to get out my license and sign in with that, meanwhile holding up the line.
-late to chapel
-son does dance moves to Christian worship songs, daughter constantly tries to get down and run amuck.
-chapel is about to end and fire alarm goes off at school. everyone leaves the building. major chaos. trying to find Samuel's class but am in a sea of kids and considering I am barely just a tad taller than the 3rd graders, this proves to be difficult, not to mention I am carrying wet noodle. good news, just a drill. take son home early from school.
-back home. ask son to look for other plunger in upstairs bathroom, no luck. back in the john for attempt 4, no luck. close the door.
-husband calls, on a bus on his way to a tour of a research and development facility before going to a nice 5 course dinner at a fancy restaurant which he will eat at before returning to his fancy hotel suite with 2 flat screens and maid service. gives more tips on plunging... flush first, must have water in toilet to push 'it' through. I ask where the tulip shaped plunger is, and get a "huh?". no other plungers in the house he says.
-put whining wet noodle down for a nap
-back to the john for attempt #5. did the flush first thing. unsuccessful. irritated at the emmense grossness of this task. think back to days of working in nursing homes and try to decide which is worse. then remember I will be going back to work in nursing homes soon. shut the door.
-upstairs to make an 'out of order' sign for the john.


Hopefully the rest of day 3 will go a little better. not sure if I will go for attempt 6 or not. my efforts have been fruitless thus far.

4 comments:

Stephanie said...

Why does this stuff ALWAYS happen when we are the "single parent" for a few days???????!!!????

Good luck - go get a "professional" plunger at home depot - we had to do that a few years back due to a busy guest (!) and it made all the difference - did the job!!!

Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ambersmerinos said...

When your other BIL returned home from Iraq after 2 years of being gone I told him I was not going to make a decision for at least 6 months. You just reminded me of that time. There was a lot of yelling in our house while he was gone and some spankings as well.

Lainie said...

Wow, sounds like a wild ride! You forgot to tell me about that at Bunco! Next time, call me, I will send my plumber boy, Brad down! LOL!